Cause this is what I miss, what I miss…God, I miss you.

Something Corporate’s Konstantine has been with me in my late College years when I was turning/becoming/already emo. I would listen to it over and over and over again until I am crying and will try to slit my wrists until the pain is all over, and then I’d listen it again.

It’s a poetic, beautifully written and depressing song. And I haven’t listened to this in a while. (I’m sure my dear Ellen introduced me this song, I owe her all my lovely music.), and when I was feeling that nostalic pleasure called depression and brokenness, I unearthed this from my 2thousand so-and-so songs in Vin and listening to it non stop since last week… The same lovely way like before, with everything, coffee, ciggarettes, self-made-mojitoes and disturbed, teary-eyed slumber.

Although I have more emo music (this is real emo, not the screamo MCR (although this seems appropriate sometimes)), like The Juliana Theory that I also love to listen to (they all go in my good-old emo music playlist), this really grips me. I travel thru my lost loves and to all those what-could’ve-been and it’s really indescribable. Only people close to me would understand how I am in love with pain. Even though I don’t quite admit it.

But after talks with a close friend, it seems like I am a masochist. I adore and endure the pain. And I enjoy being trampled and torned by love, whichever way I put it, I seem to live in the most complicated relationships, getting more stranger and weirder by the day, and I don’t really seem to give up on it, I want to be there, let it consume me until I’m with my closest encounter with death.

When Something Corporate was long gone and Jack Mannequin became what’s left of it, some fans asked the band to play Konstantine. And this is what Andrew McMahon said:

If I ever play it, I’ll have to play it forever, every night,” said McMahon. “If it weren’t such a big deal for me to play ‘Konstantine,’ then I probably would play it. But the truth is, as soon as I bring that song out one time, I will never be able to walk through a venue, no matter what band I’m playing with or no matter where I’m at, and not have people chant and cheer for it.

It’s no surprise to me that this song was so special. It’s a long, 9 minute epic battle of emotion and experience. So well-written and so profoundly constructed that it takes everyone’s breath away just listening to it.

And so, I listen once again to Konstantine, where the present is just a pleasant, interruption of the past, where I want to try dying in another’s arms… and where we don’t ever want to be alone…

so i’m eating cake

funny thing is, I told my dad i’d be home for dinner. when i got home at 8:00 and thank the blessings of smooth and easy driving all throughout the metro today, (I drove out of the parking lot around 7:25) while listening to a new-favorite album the The Click Five,
and all the stoplights were go green, except for a few timely reds that were to my advantage too.

when I parked the car and went up the dining table was cleared and i have no food, so after the quick shower i scourged the fridge to find anything edible without me cooking, and I ended up eating a slice of cake, 2 dinner rolls with butter and a mug of coffee.

I wish life could always be this simple, I wish life could always be happy :)

insult everything but NOT my god damn music.

Tuesday, I was “forced” to pick up my mom and sister at work since the driver didn’t come in. On the way to pick up my mom (we were still around the magallanes area when she saw her “friends”/co-teachers who all hitched a ride to edsa.

The Killers was currently playing that time, I hear murmurs of confusion and even amusement, the words tunog-addict (sounds wasted), Elton John, John Bon Jovi, was heard

Damn them, I said, wishing I installed eject chairs and I can just throw anybody out if they insulted what was on my car stereo, or just turn the music on higher

For someone who already is just hitching a ride, they sure got the guts to pick on what i was listening, let alone them joining us added an uncessesary 15 minutes of travel time since Edsa’s Taft –> Buendia has short lanes and really far u-turn slots.

I even told my sister after they got out of the car,

Tangina, don’t insult my the killers, and I won’t insult their Pelita Corales.

You wear a real short skirt, I wanna look up, look up, look up, yeah, yeah…

Since I was having The Killers’ Sam’s Town on repeat on most of my car rides, I was missing my Hot Fuss CD. Now that I have conveiniently located it after the cleanup , this was my music for the morning.

I remember skipping over a few tracks 2 years ago when I first listened to it, although i have to admit Somebody Told Me, Mr. Brightside, and the Midnight Show was my favorites and even skipped tracks to get there since it was Tracks 2,4, and 10. But when I popped it in the CD player I was cruisin all the songs. Even the slow ones I have gotten to appreciate it very well. Like Believe Me Natalie , Glamorous Indie Rock and Roll, Smile Like You Mean It and some others. It’s either I’m maturing with regards to music or I was very closed minded before.

Then Sam’s Town appeared 2 or 3 years after Hot Fuss. And I can say, this album was one of the best albums I’ve heard for 2006, together with Panic! at the Disco’s A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out… It took a while before I got to play all the tracks, and did a mental reviews of the songs. But the Interlude and Exitlude was kickass and hilarious. Plus, my personal favorite Sam’s Town was my anthem while driving along EDSA. (and yes, as far as cover design is concerned, hello! There is a chick and a goat. what could be more better than a chick and a goat beside a beatup looking warehouse? haha)

Anyway, I have to work…and the little boy is looking over my shoulder as I write. I don’t mind people reading my entries really, but the fact that he does it while I write is a bit awkward…no offense though >:D<