how do you let go?
September 10th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
if i knew the answer to that, even i wouldn’t have all these things running around my head.
things are, weird. I start new work (again). I have a new life (again). and I am paying the price of my life (again).
it would be tremendously, hilariously funny if this weren’t all happening to me. Or rest assured, this would be the last time. But then again. As a favorite line of a favorate book goes..
Life comes without a guarantee, since most guarantees are bullsh*t
How true.
So, how, how, HOW do people go on with life without conviction that things will not go to the sh*tpile? No. Way. People just suck it up and try to let go.
When I say try, I do mean try.
The human brain can suppose to forget. They say time heals all wounds. They say all these things as false reassurances that people will actually feel better.
Ye ah, sure that’s why everybody is so stable. Mentally and emotionally.
Why do I say this? Because nobody ever learns to let go. From an unrequited love, boring over the brain until tears and ash and alcohol falls from the cracks and crevices of a human face. From love lost, trying to find their path in the human world while thinking foolishly they are able to talk and hear someone from the otherworld? The multitude of social circles and vices that leaves you numb for a time and you wake up once again throbbing in this raw and heavy pain.
Nobody will get to see you at slumber. That’s when the curtain closes. Time to remove the mask you’re wearing and the facade you’re building, break it down for another night, and rebuild it for the next day. Until you begin to feel that person in that mold and you layer until the rest of you, your essence, your principles, your very heart and soul is lost.
Why am I writing such a dreary entry again? That as a sudden realization of looking at a random page that draw another knife to my heart? That all those things I believed in are half-lies and half-truths? Why do I never learn that life will just be a disappointment. The sole love I have for one person, will be shared continually, for the entire life in another bed, in another place, in another time and in another thought.
And yet, why do I still love like it was the first time? After so many times of being thwarted. Because as they say life comes without a guarantee, but that means I will never have a guarantee that all the love I have will never be returned back to me with the same fever and passion. Because all my hopes are poured into the boy lying down on the comfy and cool wooden bench holding up a shiny apple called Yuki.
