m-m-material, m-material girl ♫

In less than a month, I will officially turn 25, the age where all legal ties with my parents burn away and I will officially become an adult. This is the age where people do great things, like get married, have children, and plan the future with someone else. This is the supposed perfect age for women to marry.

I am 24 years, 10 months, and give or take some days old. As my name includes a description of being *eherm* worldly, I would like to continue this certain tradition of wants, now deemed permanent.

When you start to earn, your vices and material lust grows hugely out of proportion. I am now keen on buying myself a new car sometime in the next 5 years, but then again, there is also this long list of other things, that could already add up to a price of a car.

Without further ado, here’s my birthday/permalist of wants. This is not the short little list that people keep on the sides of their blogs, but a full blown post. Until I shed some off, it will still be a post.

• A 4 seater convertible – I am currently in love with the Daihatsu Copen. Problem is it’s not really feasible when you have a couple of friends, i don’t want them teetering on the passenger seat doing angkas mode while i drive (although that would be fun to watch) so I would probably want something like a Volkswagen Cabriolet in Gray or anything near or cheaper to it’s equivalent I’m shying away from the mini because of it’s size, my parent’s would complain to hell and back. So, if anyone can point me in the direction of affordable convis (as I like to call them), do lead the way.
• A normal sedan car – I do miss my Altis terribly, never gave it the proper christening of a name, it was always my Altis. My sister drives it now, and I was contemplating on what Sera said to push my convertible dream aside for the next 10 years (am i cool enough to drive a convi by that time? I sure hope so!) for a normal car. I don’t mind really. And had a few choices for that. But I’m totally leaning to the Toyota Vios, The Little Brother/Sister (gender preference up to you) of the Altis.
• A Nikon D90 – Or anything to its higher quality equivalent by the time comes I buy it, I would like to think that I am somewhat adept in Photography, although not to much to expand my head in such alarming frequency. I feel that this is a gift for myself to enjoy the lovable bokeh, the DOF preview, and the multitude of settings that I have yet to discover. As I have twiddled in an Entry Level DSLR and an Entry beyond words (the D300), I’m settling in something that is mid-rage, hence, the d90. And of course, you can always go ISO 3200 and never worry about grains. Although I do love my grains in film <3. The lens investment would be painful. But i would want a 50mm 1.8/1.4 and the yummy fisheye (the though of shelling almost 40thousand pesos for one lens is a bit traumatizing.) NEXT.
• A Medium Format Held by the Waist Camera - The Zenza Bronika ETRSI or the Mamiya RB67 that supports 120s and Polaroids, as I have never ventured into the world of Medium Format, This would pose as a challenge, I have seen one way a little bit late of last year, curious on how to work on it, but never really had the finances for it.
• A Horizon Perfekt- I saw Sir Jo’s Left -> Right camera and I knew I had to have one for those awesome panoramic film shots. The real panorama mind you.
• A 17″ Macbook Pro - is there anymore reason to explain this? 1900×1200 resolution, and securities you can never imagine on a Windows.
• Yamaha E413 Keyboard - I have been wanting one of these since I was a kid, I remember pestering my mom on buying me a casio keyboard. She never gave in on this whim and after around 15 years I still want it. I guess it will stay for a while here.
• a 37″ HDTV - I recently bought a PS3, this would be dead useful. I was also contemplating on a 22″ inch, just so I can plug Schroeder in.
• Foldable / not really Bicycle – another one of my broken childhood dreams. I’d use to ride my cousin’s bike in the garage. I remember falling down tons of times during the ride around a resort facility. I remember biking down without control screaming my lungs out on a housing village inside Subic, then falling down upon reaching flat plains with my sister and my friend’s echoed laughter. needless to say, i have to get in touch with my nonexistent / sheltered childhood

I couldn’t think of anything else right now. But this list will hopefully not grow for the moment. Lol.

dear semi-retarded people of the working world.

just a friendly reminder, you may want to write your work-related post in your personal blogs with caution, this is the internet, people. this is not some private secret society no one else knows about. everything can be traced by your head honchoes/colleagues/ex-colleagues and future/present/past companies.

this is all a whopping chain of misery. that person may not be able to find a suitable job for life, unless they are able to slip that they’re whiny about work or ungrateful. the worst part is this is actually posted by your other colleague, it would pose a problem. you’re actually helping the other guy with job problems to have to no job at all.

after all, we all claim to be internet savvy, we all like the office gossip, the day to day chismis, we thrive on it, and we will all have feeds on everybody at the office, whether they know it or not. and later you’ll find out your big boss is reading the blog and they can easily put all the pieces together and they’ll know who the hell you’re talking about. and seriously, nobody wants to be labeled as whiny and ungrateful in any working environment.

technically, this isn’t really my problem, but then again, i may not live on the internet as much as other people, but i did see it around and i really don’t want the poster or the post to create ruckus.

love,

w.s.

Protected: when you believed in me, I didn’t want to let you down. ever.

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twittering…because i’m lazy to do a real update

• 23:21 one of my the more memorable songs besides wet wet wet…. i would listen to this when i take a shower… ♫ blip.fm/~8g4z3 #

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out of body experience at 2:01 am

almost everyone whom i still have close contact with since i left already knows what is causing this out of body experience.

the masters would be giggling the moment they see this post and rethink of the conversation we had yesterday afternoon over nonfat hazelnut caramel macciatoes.

i keep thinking about it, over and over. the meeting, the execution, my perma-grin, it was what i wanted. what i dreamed for, and what i hope for in exchange of a lot of brokeness.

is this it? is it really impossible to have two good things at a time? didn’t past add up enough for me to have more than one incredibly beautiful thing?

i’m being selfish

the world is never unfair. we just want to look at it that way. it’s easier to accept the things that we cannot get by blaming it on others, when there are more people in need of happiness and contentment.

we all need to learn what’s it’s like to be contented. what made you happy today? what made you want to push yourself more in life? nothing is constant, everything changes, everything needs to dance while the earth spins. there’s no other choice but to move forward, no sense in looking at the past, no sense in dwelling on things that are over. and will never return again. staying in the past means there is no growth, we all need to grow, we cannot stand still.

the past are merely remnants. it won’t change. it’s there. still-frame photographs in your memory that you needlessly flip over.

why not create new memories.

i’ve been a dweller, i loved to stay inside the deep, familiar cocoon of my past, an empty shell of nothingness, until i became nothing.

never will i again be drowned in such sick twisted manipulations.  the mourning is over. i have yet more songs to sing, and more steps to dance.

i maybe alone as of the moment, but there are people whom showed me what i’m worth, showed me how i’m worth to them, and for someone who lacked friends in the past, now have a few, very treasured jewels that she cherishes.

thank you for teaching me to be patient. to be kind and to not wage unecessary wars.
thank you for teaching me  how to play mindgames and how to handle the most difficult people.
thank you for letting me learn the hard way that things doesn’t always go the way they plan.
thank you for helping me understand why there is a need for people to leave.
thank you for much care and more than enough to pass on to others
thank you for being patient, and to shower much understanding and love.
thank you for all the times that I was down and you made me laugh
thank you for the music, the songs i am singing (sounds familiar)
thank you for holding me, when i was in so much pain
thank you for letting me go on with my vice, even though we all know, that it hurts you.
thank you for not letting go, when i wanted too
thank you for not leaving me,when i needed someone the most
thank you for defending me, when i was being abused, and
thank you for loving me, for who i am, for what i am now, for what i was then, and for what i could’ve been.

all the thanks, for everyone, who touched my life, who loved me, who lost me, whom i lost, whom i loved, whom i cherished whom i loathed. people of the world, whoever you are. whatever you did to me, or whatever you never did, it made me who i am now. i may not be a pretty as the girls i knew who got fawned over all the time, i may not be as smart as all my dean-lister friends and colleagues, but i am me.  i would like to think i was too complex that nobody could even understand, even myself. i feel like a shark without it’s fin, limping by waiting for it’s turn to die.

….it’s 2am and i’m high and i just got back to the house. yes. i am stoned and high and wasted and this is nonsense.

twittering…because i’m lazy to do a real update

• 18:50 naispan kong magpalipad ng isang lobo… dahil lamang sa mga dahilang di na dapat malaman :) #

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twittering…because i’m lazy to do a real update

• 10:10 relaxing and disturbing. makes you want to sit next to the sea on a starry night with wine, cheese, and ham. ♫ blip.fm/~86pxz #

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twittering…because i’m lazy to do a real update

• 14:31 when you try to hold on, and someone wants to let go, what else is left? the hardest part… ♫ blip.fm/~858fs #

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twittering…because i’m lazy to do a real update

• 15:18 I heard this on my boss’s car on the way to the EVP meeting, calmed me down a bit. did a little mental boogie m… ♫ blip.fm/~833nx #
• 15:54 I heard this on my boss’s car on the way to the EVP meeting, calmed me down a bit. did a little mental boogie m… ♫ blip.fm/~834nv #

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twittering…because i’m lazy to do a real update

• 10:21 i am now following mr. no-animosity on twitter hehee. #
• 15:36 My favorite track when I’m cooking. Part of the amour series :) ♫ blip.fm/~80wbz #
• 15:50 i think of the lyrics and when it gets me, i never forget the song, even if the music is mediocre. the words we… ♫ blip.fm/~80wqf #
• 15:55 Well, well, if it isn’t one of my best break-up songs. Enjoy it’s haunting melody and it’s wonderful irony :) ♫ blip.fm/~80wwc #
• 15:59 thanks mr. no-animosity, for introducing me blip.fm *gives tons of e-cookies* #
• 16:08 I hear the lyrics and it grips me like no other. How can I explain it even more? When everything is laid out al… ♫ blip.fm/~80×99 #

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